


like stars (in our night sky)

by hyungsobbing



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Produce 101 AU, ch.2 will hv wayyy more dojae content hehe, happy ending i promise i love dojae too much, platonic dotae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-01 12:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20258140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyungsobbing/pseuds/hyungsobbing
Summary: the world of entertainment is harsh and unforgiving, and doyoung knows this all too well. but he swears to himself, that no matter what it takes, he’ll make it.





	1. i’m thinking of you as a star

**Author's Note:**

> i know a few parts are different from the original sequencing of events in the original produce 101 shows but i was honestly too lazy to re-watch episodes to get it down so some of it is just what’s convenient atm sorry >< hope you enjoy this fic c:

When the manager drops the news of sending the trainees to the latest season of Produce 101, Doyoung can’t say he's particularly surprised. He hears Donghyuck whine loudly from behind him about having to reuse clothes since the dorms were rumored to not have washing machines, and Ten tells him to be quiet.

The company they’re in isn’t a particularly famous one like YG or JYP, but big enough to have forty-something trainees fill up the practice room they’re in right now; forty-something hopefuls staring at the manager, praying to be the ones selected to go on Produce for the smallest chance of actually debuting. Realistically, Doyoung knows he’s likely to get selected. He’s not the oldest or the most talented, but the company has been upping his training regimen recently, and the vocal trainer seems to be calling on him more often.

Beside him, he feels the minute twitch of Mark’s arm, a sure tell-tale sign of the younger boy’s nervousness. Gently, he pats the top of Mark’s head, and says, “Don’t worry, Mark, you’re the best rapper they have.” It’s nothing Mark hasn’t heard before, with so many trainees trying to get close to SM’s golden boy trainee, but Doyoung has been alongside Mark for years, the both of them entering SM in its early years, before the rest of the newer trainees came trickling in.

“Thanks, hyung.” Mark replies quietly, gratefully. He doesn’t need to add ‘you too’ behind because both of them know how much empty platitudes mean—that is, nothing.

There’s a hand on his shoulder, and loud breathing, which is how he knows that Ten has come up behind him, with Donghyuck in tow. “Ready to blow all of them away?” Donghyuck says, a bit too loud, and Mark shushes him. “They haven’t even announced the trainees yet,” Doyoung murmurs.

Ten scoffs. “Please, we will, and you know it.” Doyoung responds with a roll of his eyes, but he’s praying, hoping for that desperately sought-after debut, the one thing they’ve all been chasing after for the past few years.

The manager clears her throat, effectively silencing the whispers in the room. “Unfortunately, we can’t afford to send anyone, so the maximum we can send is four trainees.” A number of heads turn to look at them, the manager chuckles. “Yes. Doyoung, Ten, Mark and Donghyuck will be the ones going on the show, two months from now. Everyone, let’s wish them all the best!” There’s a round of half-hearted cheering, and murmured encouragements.

“Told you so, hyung.” Donghyuck crows delightedly, and Ten laughs, throwing his head back. Mark squeezes on Doyoung’s hand lightly, and Doyoung lets himself break into a smile, finally letting himself hope.

-

By the fifth time his voice cracks, Doyoung stops the music, sighing harshly, fingers running through his hair. He couldn’t afford to mess up—as the main vocalist of their team. the possibility of debut lies heavily on his shoulders. They were risking a lot by choosing to perform a self-composed and self-choreographed song, but their trainers had given them the green light and it was a day before the first evaluations—too late to change, anyway.

He’s considering running through the song for a few more hours to make sure his voice doesn’t crack during the performance when the door to the tiny studio creaks open, and a shadow is cast over the dimly-lit room. “Hyung?” Donghyuck says quietly, and Doyoung pats the floor next to him.

Donghyuck curls up next to him, and Doyoung instinctively wraps a comforting arm around his shoulders. “Are you still practicing?” Donghyuck asks.

“Just a little bit more, then I’ll go back to the dorms. You should be back there already, sleeping.” Doyoung chides softly, and Donghyuck snorts. “Say that to yourself. Our entire stage is as good as it can be, and your singing is going to blow the judges away, you should really stop worrying so much.”

Doyoung exhales. “When did our youngest become so wise?” He teases, and Donghyuck scrunches his nose at him. “But my vocals are better, of course. You better watch out, because I’m coming after your spot as main vocalist!”

Doyoung lets himself relax for the first time in that week, mussing up Donghyuck’s hair. “Of course, I’ll let you have that spot when I retire.”

The door opens again, and Ten and Mark squeeze into the room that is definitely not built to handle four almost-grown boys. “Having a strategy meeting without us?” Ten pouts, and Doyoung smacks his knee lightly.

Silence falls over the tiny studio room for a while, and Doyoung observes the sheen of sweat on Ten’s forehead, and the way Mark clears his throat every few seconds, and how Donghyuck’s hands curl in, grasping at an imaginary microphone. “It’s tomorrow, guys. Let’s show them what SM trainees can do.” Doyoung says, and Ten nods in assent.  
  


“Let’s get it!” Mark cheers, and for once, no one complains, the excitement and nervousness setting in full force, but Doyoung doesn’t have a single doubt that all of them could do it. They’ve all trained too hard for anything but the best to happen.

-

The staff hurry them in, pointing them to the way to the stage entrance. Doyoung knows what’s out there—he’d binged every single season of Produce that’s ever happened before. The choosing of seats, the whispers of the trainees, and the cameras’ hyperfixation on them, ready to film any possible mistakes or slip-ups.

“Relax, we can do this.” Ten murmurs, hand cupped over his mic to prevent unwanted eavesdropping, and all of them nod determinedly.

They’re the first quarter of the trainees to enter the stage area, so most of the seats were probably still available. They bow and smile on stage, Doyoung making extra effort to smile as the company had instructed him to. _Don’t be so grumpy in front of the cameras, _they’d reminded him and Donghyuck had laughed at him.

Thankfully, the seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth place seats were still unoccupied, so they make their way up to the top. High enough to get slightly more screentime from the camera, but not too obnoxiously high to be dismissed as arrogant and over-confident.

More trainees start to file in, and he recognizes a few faces from joint training sessions. In particular, one person stands out to him. “Hyung, isn’t that Taeyong hyung?” Mark whispers excitedly, and Doyoung considers, weighing the pros and cons of letting the audience know that they have friends within their competitors.

He doesn’t get to decide. Taeyong’s company trainees walk up the stairs and sit in the row beneath them, and Taeyong turns around immediately, reaching out. “Doyoung!” He greets, and Doyoung notices a camera zooming in on them from his peripheral vision. “Taeyong,” He smiles widely, and gives him a one-armed hug. “I would never have expected to see you here.” Taeyong laughs. He notices movement from the corner of his vision, and his eyes flick down for a split second, where Taeyong has three fingers up, with his ring and middle finger bent slightly forward, cleverly hidden at the camera’s blind spot.

He looks up again, smile a little sincerer. “Good luck.” Doyoung says, with the same tone that he used to say to Taeyong when they were both still in SM, right before their monthly evaluations. “You too.” Taeyong says, voice light. He sees the camera zoom out again, and he relaxes back into his seat.

Ten taps thrice on his upper thigh, huffing out amusedly. Doyoung holds back a little roll of his eyes, schooling his face into one of mild interest as the seats continue filling up, and he feels the pre-performance jitters begin to set in.

They’re one of the last teams to perform, and he finds out quickly that Taeyong’s company is set to perform just a few companies before them. The company evaluations pass by slowly, and Doyoung sees Donghyuck nearly nod off to sleep, so he jabs him harshly in the side.

The film crew calls for a halfway break, and some cameras are switched off, but Doyoung knows that there are hidden cameras that are still rolling, so he resists the urge to smack Donghyuck for kicking him every few seconds under the chair. The rest of the trainees, especially the less seasoned ones, who probably don’t know that of the cameras, begin to complain loudly, and Doyoung winces in sympathy. He doesn’t even want to begin to imagine the backlash that they’d get when the episode airs.

All too quickly, the break ends, and Doyoung sits up a little straighter in his seat. Taeyong and the rest of his company trainees leave to prepare for their performance, and Doyoung sends him a small smile.

They’re good, if not a little too good. Taeyong, he learns, is the appointed leader of their team; Sicheng is the dancer that’s a little too flexible; Yukhei is their rapper that reminds him of an overexcited puppy and Jaehyun is the vocalist. Doyoung focuses on Jaehyun, and becomes slightly alarmed to realise that his vocals are good. Probably as good as him, he worries, biting his lower lip. They perform a remixed version of SHINee’s Sherlock, and Jaehyun manages to dance almost perfectly on beat even during his vocal lines. Towards the end, they split and Sicheng does a running flip, and the entire studio breaks out into applause.

Doyoung claps along. Taeyong had done well, as expected. Jaehyun and Taeyong get A, and Sicheng and Yukhei get a B. “Don’t be so tense, hyung.” Mark leans over to whisper, a hand brushing over his shoulder. Doyoung exhales shakily, his trembling hand hidden by the side of his chair.

A staff signals at them to come down by the side to prepare for their performance, and they follow. Things seem to happen ridiculously fast after that, and soon enough, Doyoung is leading his team on stage.

“So, you’re from SM entertainment?” The vocal trainer, Lee Jihoon asks. He’s short, but that doesn’t lessen the scariness of his gaze. Doyoung falters, and Ten seems to notice, speaking up. “Yes, and we’ve prepared our original song and choreography to perform on stage.”

The trainers exchange apprehensive glances, and Doyoung recalls the mess that the previous performer had been on stage while showcasing his own creation. “And what’s thing song called?” The rap trainer, B.I, questions, his stare less piercing but not any less intimidating.

“Seventh Sense. Ten and Donghyuck choreographed the dance, Mark and I composed the track and wrote the lyrics.” Doyoung responds, desperate to show—to prove their worth. They’d trained so hard, and they couldn’t afford to mess up. Not now.

“We’ll look forward to it.” Jihoon says, leaning back. They get into position, and the music starts.

For two most nerve-wracking minutes of his life thus far, Doyoung doesn’t think. He doesn’t worry about how the performance would come off, about how the trainers would react. He sings, and is faintly relieved when his voice doesn’t crack at all, and when they come to an end, breathing hard from exertion, there’s silence in the entire studio.

He looks at his team mates, and sees Ten trying to hold back a smile, and assumes that it meant that the dance had went well. There’s one more second of absolute pin-drop silence, and then the trainees and trainers start clapping, and a tiny hint of a grin breaks out on Jihoon’s face.

“Well, that was way better than we expected.” He says, leaning forward into the mic. The dance instructor, Chungha, tsks. “Don’t be so stingy. All of you did amazing. Especially Ten! Ten, do you have a dancing background?”

“Yes, I started dancing when I was five.” Ten says, sweat dripping down from his brow.

“Explains a lot.” Chungha nods approvingly, and Doyoung feels the weight on his chest lighten a little.

He waits for the criticism to come, but none of the trainers speak up. Instead, B.I says, “Okay, please wait while we discuss your individual grades.”

He feels a hand slide into his on either of his sides, and he squeezes back. Sometimes, he worries that Mark and Donghyuck are too young for the industry, too fresh and vulnerable, but it’s times like these when he knows that they—all of them were born to shine on stage.

“We’re done discussing!” Chungha says, and they wait with bated breath.

“Ten, A!” Doyoung breaks into a smile, reaching over to muss Ten’s hair.

“Mark Lee, A!” Mark drops Doyoung’s hand, reaching out to sling one arm around Ten and the other around Doyoung.

“Donghyuck Lee, A!” Donghyuck rushes over and pulls all of them into a group hug.

“And…” Chungha says, trailing off. Doyoung’s heart sinks, waits for the ‘that is all’ to follow, and can already imagine the company calling, yelling at Doyoung for being a disappointment, being the eldest yet the most incapable—

“Kim Doyoung, A!” She finishes, and the trainees are shocked into silence yet once again. “SM entertainment trainees, congratulations for all A’s!”

In shock, Doyoung nudges them into a line and they bow hastily, rushing off stage. “We did it!” Donghyuck screams, and a staff quickly rushes to switch off their mics.

“We actually did,” Doyoung says, disbelieving.

“I’m so proud of all of us!” Mark sniffles, pulling them into yet another group hug. “I knew we could pull this off,” Ten mutters, voice sounding suspiciously nasal.

“Ten hyung, are you crying?” Donghyuck says, as if he didn’t have tears welling up in his eyes as he speaks. “Yes, I am, what’s it to you, brat?” Ten says, voice muffled.

Doyoung laughs, overwhelmed. _Four A grades, _he thinks, smiling ridiculously widely.

-

Doyoung grunts as he collides into another person. “Doyoungie!” A familiar voice shouts, excited. “Taeyong?” He looks up to see a head of blue hair. “It’s really been too long.” Taeyong wraps his arms around Doyoung, and hugs him back, enveloped in the familiar scent. Neither of them were particularly touchy people, but Taeyong was a good hugger, and Doyoung had missed him so incredibly much.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” Taeyong murmurs, and Doyoung understands immediately, pulling him off to the toilets nearby where they wouldn’t be filmed.

“I missed you too, Tae, but I understand why you left.” Is the first thing Doyoung says when they enter the toilet, squeezing into the largest handicap cubicle at the end. Taeyong’s shoulders slump with relief, and he slings an arm around Doyoung, smiling. “Thank you. I don’t know if I told you, but I did try and go back to SM after my grandmother recovered. They didn’t want to accept me again, said I’d ruined my chances by leaving to take care of my grandmother.”

Doyoung’s face twists in disgust. “That’s terrible.”

Taeyong sighs. “But you killed it out there, Doyoung! The song was amazing, and all A’s is by no means an easy feat.”

“You got A too,” He points out, fingering Taeyong’s ‘A’ sticker on his nametag, and Taeyong beams exuberantly. Doyoung had missed this happy, cheerful side of Taeyong, and he hopes—he prays that they make it to the debut lineup together.

-

The theme song of the season is revealed, and Doyoung finds himself right at home, easily hitting the high notes. During the vocal training session, he cringes when Jihoon absolutely tears down one of the trainees, scolding him for his overconfidence coupled with his inability to practice properly. Taeyong nudges him gently, sending him a reassuring smile.

And then Jaehyun goes up.

Doyoung doesn’t breathe at all during the duration that Jaehyun sings, and when he reaches the verse right before the chorus, the entire room seems to be holding his breath, but his voice cracks a little on the high note. Smiling, he continues as if he hadn’t made any mistakes. Jihoon chews him out a little on the crack on the high note, but slides in an underhanded praise for his decent vocal tone. Jaehyun goes back smiling radiantly, and Doyoung feels an ugly feeling rear up inside him. Did Jaehyun feel no regret towards his mistake? Was he treating it like a minor obstacle, something not to work to overcome but to avoid?

Jihoon calls him up and he sweeps his negative feelings under the rug. He’s confident; he’d practiced half the night without a single slip. Jihoon’s eyebrows climb higher and higher when he reaches the verse, and when he hits the high note effortlessly, the trainer quirks up the corner of his lips. Satisfied, he continues onto the chorus, and ends without a single blunder.

“SM entertainment, Kim Doyoung?” Jihoon checks. “Yes.”

“Were you the one that composed your company evaluation’s song?” He asks.

“Yes, me and Mark Lee co-composed the song.” He replies. Jihoon raises his hands, and Doyoung almost (almost!) flinches back, but the trainer begins clapping, and the trainees follow.

“Doyoung!” Donghyuck whoops, and Jihoon shoots him a side-eye, and he quietens down immediately. Jihoon makes a notation on his notepad, and looks up to meet Doyoung eye-to-eye again. “I can’t find any fault in your vocals. A decent tone, good stability—oh, you can try adding a little more emotion during the bridge. But you’re not bad. I might go as far to say that you have the potential to be the best vocalist in this show.” Jihoon concedes, and Doyoung nods, thanking him, the adrenaline rushing through him starting to wear off.

Waving him off, Jihoon calls Mark up to sing, and Doyoung winces when Mark’s voice falters in multiple places, but Jihoon seems understanding enough when he finds out that Mark’s a rapper, complimenting him on his determination to finish without any horrible mistakes (“Unlike some of you here,” He says, glaring at a few trainees who shrink back.)

There’s only eleven trainees in A, so they finish up quickly, moving on to the dance training room.

For dance, he’d asked Ten to help him correct his steps, so he wasn’t that underprepared. Chungha asks all of them to dance the chorus individually, and he does, managing to pull it off with only a few stumbles here and there. “Practice more,” She says with an air of finality, and Doyoung nods humbly.

As expected, Ten nails the dance, and Chungha smiles for the first time that day. “Of course, we have our most talented dancer right here!” She proclaims, and a smattering of applause sounds through the room.

Donghyuck also does remarkably well, ending with a dramatic pose. Chungha ruffles his hair, and he squeaks, turning a deep shade of red. _Oh right, _Doyoung remembers, _he admires Chungha a lot._

Jaehyun goes up, and Chungha chuckles a little at his opening stance, a little too confident for his own good. He goes through the dance moves, with minimal blunders, and only stumbles once, at a particularly taxing part. Towards the end, as he looks at the trainees and happens to catch Doyoung’s critical gaze, he trips slightly, and seems to freeze up, missing four counts. Chungha’s smile falls, but Jaehyun recovers, striking the ending pose. “Try harder, Jaehyun.” She says, dismissing him.

Doyoung’s perception of Jaehyun only worsens, confirming the fact that he indeed was the type to feel no remorse over mistakes, brushing them off like minor inconvenience. And if there was anything Doyoung hated the most in the world, it was people like him, those happy-go-lucky types, the ones that didn’t deserve their achievements.

-

The greatly anticipated re-evaluation of the trainees’ individual grades roll around. Mark panics during the dance recording and freezes, temporarily forgetting the steps. He gets downgraded to B, but he takes it in stride, promising to improve. Yukhei and Sicheng move to A, and to Doyoung’s satisfaction, Jaehyun moves down to B after he forgets the lyrics in the middle of the song.

They watch the screening of episode one on a projector screen. Doyoung laughs when they zoom into Donghyuck and Yukhei making funny faces and dancing girl group choreographies in their shared dorms, and when the cameras catch Mark eating half of a whole watermelon in the kitchens at midnight.

Doyoung cringes in embarrassment when they zoom in on him and Taeyong hugging, followed by a compilation of him and Taeyong talking and laughing together. Ten nudges Doyoung suggestively, wriggling his eyebrows and Doyoung flushes a dark red, and Taeyong isn’t faring much better.

The episode ends with the current position of trainees, and Doyoung watches, unblinking as the numbers climb higher and higher without his name appearing. Ten’s name shows up at the twenty-fourth place, and he nods in acceptance. Sicheng ranks twenty-second and Yukhei takes nineteenth place. Three spots in front of him is Donghyuck, and Doyoung places fourteenth, a comfortable ranking, and he smiles, having been expecting a lower position. Taeyong takes ninth and Doyoung claps for him, and when Mark ranks fourth, Doyoung hugs him to his side, and Mark clings back to him, grinning widely.

But when Jaehyun places first, Doyoung’s jaw drops, and he can only hope the national producers mistake it as surprise and not irritation and slight anger. How did Jaehyun of all people make it to first place?

He’s still fuming over it when he returns to his dorm, flopping down on his bed. Thankfully, his roommates are already asleep, and they don’t see him throw a minor tantrum.

And then, although Ten’s always scolding him for doing it, he pulls out his phone and begins to look through comments on episode one.

[ENTERTAINMENT] Produce 101 1stepisode airing

Comments

  1. [+3934, -33] Wow, did you see that Jung Jaehyun’s charisma? Amazing, he deserves more than first place

  1. [+46, -1930] He forgot his lines, LOL what charisma? ㅋㅋㅋ

  1. [+391, -124] I think Ten and Sicheng are the best dancer this season, they’re seriously the best. 짱!

  1. [+2002, -394] Omg Wong Yukhei is so cool, him and Donghyuck are cute together haha

  1. [+3933, -12] Kim Doyoung best vocals of the season! Him and Taeyong are goals <3

  1. [+3800, -45] Our golden boy Mark Lee! Let’s support our watermelon fanatic everyone

  1. [+2941, -893] haters shut up! Jung Jaehyun is the greek god of the season, seriously the best dancer and vocalist!!

Doyoung puts down his phone, the harsh lighting causing him to begin to squint. Of course, Jaehyun already had a large gathering of fans, his face wasn’t exactly terrible. But his personality? Doyoung dreaded the day that they would inevitably get grouped together.

-

If there’s one good thing about episode two, is that since Jaehyun was downgraded to class B, he couldn’t compete for centre. Doyoung puts in his utmost effort, choosing to sing lines from their season’s song, but ultimately, he knows that they’d pick a fresh and young face as the season’s centre. Mark gets picked as centre, and the SM entertainment trainees gather at midnight to celebrate with bowls of instant ramen.

Recording goes by quickly, and episode 2 airs, and Doyoung moves up a few places to eleventh, but Jaehyun remains firmly at first.

Filming for the group battles begin, and with trepidation, Doyoung watches as Mark picks his teammate. He hopes that Mark has enough foresight to not pick their own company’s trainees—they’d just be singled out for exclusivity and lack of teamwork with other trainees.

Thankfully, he selects other trainees, and amongst them, he picks Sicheng, and the Chinese boy goes up gladly.

The next person to call is another trainee, who chooses Jaehyun and Ten.

Then it’s Taeyong’s turn to choose, and he picks Doyoung second, smiling at him. They plan to pick_Love Scenario _by iKon, a song with good choreography but not too complicated, and vocal parts that Doyoung thinks will fit him.

They appoint Doyoung to run for the sign, much to his protests, but by then, it’s already too late, having being pushed to the start line. Eyeing the trainees around him, he realises that Jaehyun is on his right, and quickly looks away before they can make eye contact.

The whistle blows, and he sets off, running furiously. If he’s perfectly honest with himself, his only goal is to beat Jaehyun, but he’ll try and get the song signboard as well. They pass the halfway mark, and he tucks his head down and sprints, going in front of Jaehyun and snatching the _Love Scenario _song, shouting a hurried apology at another trainee who’d been eyeing the board just in case he got negative reception for that move

He races back, and plonks the signboard in front of the team, who cheers excitedly. He isn’t the first back, more like the fourth or fifth, but he’d beaten Jaehyun, and that’s all that mattered.

Said trainee arrives back at his team holding a slightly ripped signboard reading _Shine _by Pentagon, and his team cheers for him as well.

They pick their opponents, a significantly less popular team who already looks intimidated. They appoint Taeyong the leader immediately, but discuss over who the centre would be. From the corner of his eye, he can see Ju Haknyeon, a younger trainee, opening his mouth to argue. Doyoung sighs imperceptibly as he hears the muted whirring camera zoom in on Haknyeon who goes off on a tangent about how he deserves centre the most because he’s a talented singer.

Taeyong’s hand lands on his thigh, and both of them exchange glances, too subtle and quick to be caught by the camera, and Taeyong flicks his pinky up and touches it to his thumb, and Doyoung takes over immediately. “Those who want to be centre raise their hands, please raise your hands.” Four people raise their hands, and Doyoung asks them to sing the chorus of _Love Scenario_. Haknyeon stumbles over his words and goes slightly off-key at the end, and the rest don’t fare much better. The last trainee, Kim Seungmin, picks up where the previous trainee had left off, and Doyoung is immediately impressed by his vocal control.

Seungmin ends the song with his sweet voice, without a single hitch. “So now we’ll vote, those who want to be centre please lower your heads.”

There’s zero votes for the first three trainees, and the remaining four of them unanimously vote for Seungmin. “The centre is Kim Seungmin, congratulations!” Doyoung passes him the centre sticker, smiling as a trainee provides the dramatic background music as Seungmin pastes the sticker on.

-

Somehow, time passes both incredibly quickly yet at the same time, slowly during the filming of Produce. Episode three is played for them, and Doyoung watches critically as he opens his mouth to sing Donghyuk’s original line in _Love Scenario,_pleased when he sees Jihoon’s satisfied reaction with his lines. Same goes for Taeyong, who receives a shower of compliments for his smooth rapping from B.I.

(Later, Taeyong tells him, blushing, that he used to have the biggest crush on B.I. Apparently, the only reason he hadn’t fought for centre was because he wanted to rap B.I’s lines in _Love Scenario,_and Doyoung had laughed at his friend’s childlike admiration.)

He’s learned to push down the growing feelings of slight resentment towards Jaehyun when the boy appears on screen, the editors going so far as to edit a golden halo around him everytime he so much as laughed or sang. Half the teams have already performed for the group battle stage, Donghyuck and Mark included, but Jaehyun and Doyoung are set to record their performance next week.

Doyoung has to win. He has to.

-

To no one’s surprise, their team wins, and Doyoung ranks second after Taeyong. The fans eat up their fanservice with each other, and to Doyoung’s irritation, Donghyuck informs him with glee that fans had started pairing him and Taeyong together.

Jaehyun wins too, of course, coming first overall and clinching benefit votes. He comes over to their team to congratulate Taeyong. Doyoung sees him turning towards him, opening his mouth and resists the urge to run away.

Thankfully, in that moment, Ten screams for Doyoung to go over, which he does, gladly, waving in the general direction of Taeyong and hoping that the cameras didn’t pick up on him brushing Jaehyun off.

They hold another celebration that night, inviting Yukhei, Sicheng, Taeyong as well as a few other trainees, including Seungmin. Doyoung sits at the corner of his bed, laughing at Donghyuck trying to wrestle Sicheng on the floor and ending up miserably pinned under him in a matter of seconds. “Yukhei, avenge me!” He shouts, and the entire dorm breaks out into another ripple of laughter.

“No thank you, Sicheng looks harmless but he can bench press me easily.” Yukhei waves his hands, and Donghyuck kicks uselessly out at him.

“Ah, to be young and energetic.” Taeyong sighs wistfully. “We’re not old, Tae.” Doyoung scoffs, still smiling.

-

“Mark, good job!” Doyoung calls out from his seat on the thirteenth position, clapping. Mark waves dazedly at him, climbing up the steps slowly to sit on the first position. He’d beaten Jaehyun by a slim margin of a hundred votes, pushing the ‘all rounder, honey vocal’ down to second place, and it’s the happiest Doyoung has been for weeks since he first saw Jaehyun mess up during vocal training.

Said trainee sits comfortably in the second place seat, smile never dropping, even turning around to hi-five Mark. _He’s either a very good actor or just doesn’t care about this show, _Doyoung thinks sourly, and turns away to chat with the twelfth place trainee.

-

Doyoung has a new problem.

It’s the position evaluations, which _should_ be a good thing, since he’s most confident of his vocals. But when the representative asks Jaehyun what position he’s gunning for and Jaehyun responds with vocals, Doyoung starts to worry.

If they were to end up in the same team, their team would be sure to get plenty of screentime, but then again, most of the screentime would be focused on Jaehyun, neglecting the rest of the trainees in the team. Additionally, it was almost definitely guaranteed that Jaehyun would take first place in the team rankings regardless of his actual performance.

Chewing his bottom lip, he watches as the twelve trainees in front of him pick their respective position evaluations songs. There were four vocal songs—_It’s You _ by Henry; _Wild Flower _by Park Hyoshin; _FACE _by Kim Woosung and _Ending Scene _by IU.

Jaehyun might possibly pick Ending Scene, since his vocal range would suit that song best, but he doesn’t know if Jaehyun has any personal bias towards the other artists. “Thirteenth place, Kim Doyoung, please come up and choose your song. As of now, all songs in all positions are still open.”

He reaches the table with the placards placed on it, hand hovering between _Wild Flower _and _It’s You_. _Wild Flower _would likely fit his vocal tone better and, personally, he prefers the song, but _It’s You _is a more popular song.

Deciding on _It’s You, _he picks up the board, hiding the printed surface against his chest, walking out to the other side. “Hyung! Are you joining me in rap?” Mark shouts playfully, waving the _Bermuda Triangle _board in the air.

Doyoung laughs, smacking him lightly on the shoulder as he passes by, eyes scanning over Taeyong sitting under the _I Like It _dance position board, and settling on Jaehyun standing alone under _It’s You_.

He stops himself from swearing out loud just in time, coughing abruptly to cover it up. “Doyoungie hyung!” Jaehyun looks up and spots him, waving. “Are you coming here?”

Hiding a grimace, he walks over to Jaehyun. _Have we ever even talked properly before? Since when did we get so close that he can talk to me like that? _He hears the almost-silence whirring of the camera lens. _Oh right, the cameras are filming. Of course, he would pretend to be close._

With as much enthusiasm as he can muster, he pulls out the board, showing it to Jaehyun. “We’re together!” He says, smiling.

“Oh, I’ve always wanted to work with you, hyung! I’m so excited.” Jaehyun cheers, eyes curving into twin crescents, and Doyoung holds back an exasperated groan.

-

“We need a leader,” One of the members, Chanhee, says, looking around. The team has five people, and to Doyoung’s relief, all of them are vocals. “How about the oldest be the leader?” Hwanhee says, and all of them look at the oldest member, Seungsik, who accepts, smiling widely.

Doyoung exhales silently in relief. He had been worried that he’d have to take the role of leader, but thankfully he didn’t have to worry about that burden now.

“So, who wants to be centre? The centre takes majority of the chorus and the ending part.” Seungsik takes over. No one speaks up, eyes darting back forth, all secretly wanting the coveted position of centre but none willing to risk coming off as greedy by volunteering first. Doyoung is about to ask them to go in one round and sing the centre’s vocal parts, but Jaehyun beats him to it.

“Am I allowed to volunteer someone?” Jaehyun says, raising his hand. “Go for it, Jaehyun.” Seungsik encourages.

“I think Doyoung hyung would be the perfect fit for centre. His vocal tone is really stable, plus it suits the centre part really well.” Jaehyun offers, looking around to gauge the reactions.

Hwanhee nods. “I think so too! But can I just try singing the part now?”

“Me too,” Chanhee murmurs, and they go one round, each singing two lines from the chorus stanza.

Hwanhee does amazingly well within the short period of time he sings, and so does Chanhee, and Doyoung claps for them, genuinely impressed. Then he starts his lines, channeling his emotions the way that the vocal trainer had taught him into the lines of the song.

“You’re right, Doyoung hyung really fits the vocal tone of the song well.” Chanhee marvels, eyes lit up.

They all agree on assigning Doyoung the centre role, and Doyoung accepts the centre sticker gratefully, bowing. They proceed to discuss on how to split the rest of the lines and the arrangement of the song, but all Doyoung can think about for the rest of the day is _why would Jaehyun of all people want to help me?_

-

“…So, that’s why I think Jaehyun doesn’t deserve such a high ranking. At all.” He finishes and flops back down on Ten’s bed. The lights were all off and they’d wrapped their mics in a shirt and threw it into the bathroom, so Doyoung shit-talking Jaehyun would be safe from the public’s ears.

Ten groans, pulling at his hair. “So, you walked down three levels, all the way across the dorms at two in the morning when we have to wake up at six today, just to rant about Jung Jaehyun? About how you think he’s using you to look kind and sweet in front of the cameras because he volunteered you for centre? And that he’s lazy and doesn’t deserve to debut?” Ten says, voice deadpan.

Doyoung points at him. “Yes. Exactly that. I’m glad you understand me. I don’t understand why he’s so popular with the fans and the trainees? Mark keeps telling me about how sweet and funny Jaehyun is, and I would ignore him because we all know how naïve that boy is, but even Donghyuck loves Jaehyun, and Donghyuck is a brat.”

“He’s not that bad,” Ten says with slight hesitance, and Doyoung sits up to glare at him accusingly. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I’m on no one’s side. I’m Switzerland.” Ten raises his hand in mock surrender, and Doyoung punches him. “Don’t quote your stupid Twilight shit at me, I’m having a crisis!”

“You’re so loud, you’re lucky I don’t have roommates. How the fans think you and Taeyong are the cutest thing ever always astounds me.” Ten scoffs. “Shut up, I’m angry at Taeyong at the moment. He told me Billie Eilish was better than Ariana Grande—like please, Ariana is the best vocalist ever. And also, he’s Jaehyun’s friend.”

“I can’t deal with being your personal therapist right now. Go back to your room or something.” Ten pushes Doyoung off his bed and steals his place.

“Therapist? You never offer me any helpful advice!” Doyoung complains, hitting his leg. Ten sticks his middle finger out, back faced towards Doyoung.

-

The next day, they spend the whole day practicing individually, then the following few days, as a team. Seungsik, as Doyoung had expected, was good beyond expectations, hitting every note perfectly, even going so far as to raise the key two octaves higher just to make the team laugh during practice.

Hwanhee’s voice was ridiculously powerful, and Chanhee’s voice was uniquely smooth and his tone fit his lines well. Jaehyun was good as well, delivering his designated lines near-perfectly in front of the trainers and the team, but for some reason, Doyoung could tell something was off with the other trainee.

It’s not like he was particularly close with the second-place trainee, but after spending so much time around Donghyuck (who changed moods every few minutes), he was pretty much an expert when it came to picking up seemingly unnoticeable details.

Like the terrible eyebags under Jaehyun’s eyes that he tried to cover up with concealer but could still be seen; and the minute tremble in his hands during practice when he opened the song with a piano overture.

And his odd behavior. Jaehyun had lots of friends in the show, so it was natural that they’d come to visit him during their breaks. The moment they walked into the _It’s You _team practice room, it was like Jaehyun’s entire personality changed. He’d be frowning at his lyrics sheet after messing up, but the moment another trainee came in, his entire demeanor would light up, smiling cheerfully and joking with the trainee.

Doyoung observes the entire spectacle quietly from the corner of the room. If it were Mark or Donghyuck, this behavior would raise alarm bells, but Jaehyun and him weren’t in the same company, much less friends. If he tried to help, his actions might not be received well.

So, he keeps quiet about it.

He doesn’t tell anyone, not even Ten or Taeyong. During team practice when the cameras are rolling, he stands next to Jaehyun, tapping out the beat with his foot on the floor when he notices Jaehyun stumbling through his lines. He ‘accidentally’ leaves his good-quality concealer behind in the practice room, but Jaehyun returns it to him the next day without even having opened the lid.

Until he hears the soft sniffling sounds coming from down the hallway. Concerned, he jogs down the hallway till he locates the room where the sound is coming from, and tries to turn the doorknob. It’s locked. It’s not unnatural that a trainee locks himself inside a room to practice, but it’s worrying.

“Is there anyone inside?” He calls gently, knocking the door. The sniffling stops abruptly, and he curses himself. Of course, any sane person wouldn’t want to get caught crying on a show, with the possibility of being recorded by cameras.

“It’s just me. Doyoung. Do you need anything?” He continues, voice soft.

There’s no response for a while, and he considers going to get Taeyong, someone more suited for comforting trainees on the verge of breakdowns.

Then the lock clicks, and the door opens slightly. Cautiously, Doyoung pushes the door open and slides inside, locking the door after him and sitting down. The room is void of any lighting and the red blinking light of the camera is off, meaning that the camera had stopped recording in the room. Luckily, he’d left his mic back in the dorms, so there’s no risk of them being filmed or recorded.

It takes a while for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but once it has, he has to stop himself from gasping out loud in surprise. Jaehyun sits in the corner, limbs tucked up against his chest, making himself seem smaller. He hiccups, refusing to look up.

“Jaehyun?” Doyoung murmurs, shuffling closer. “Sorry for disturbing you, Doyoung-ssi.” Jaehyun whispers.

Doyoung frowns. “There’s no need to call me Doyoung-ssi, just call me hyung. You weren’t disturbing me, I was just passing by and…” He trails off, unsure of whether to mention his crying.

Jaehyun nods, eyes fixed on the floor. “Is there anything wrong, Jaehyun?” Doyoung asks hesitantly.

Jaehyun automatically shakes his head. “No, nothing.” He’s lying. It’s clear to Doyoung that he’s lying, but he doesn’t know how to approach the younger. If Jaehyun didn’t want to tell Doyoung anything, then he had no way of helping him.

“You sure about that?” Doyoung puts a hand on Jaehyun’s knee, feeling his minute trembling. “Want me to call Taeyong hyung?”

Jaehyun shakes his head vehemently. “Please don’t. I’m just stressed, it’s nothing much.”

“Don’t say it’s nothing much, Jaehyun. You’re in the spotlight so often, it’s bound to take a toll on you.” Doyoung takes a wild guess, and it turns out to be right as Jaehyun sniffles again, throat clogged as he speaks. “It’s just—I don’t deserve the top place. Others are so much more talented, and I’ve trained for a shorter period of time as compared to Taeyong or Sicheng or Yukhei but I’m still higher. I keep messing up no matter how hard I practice, and the stylist keeps scolding me for my eyebags but I can’t help it. Sometimes, the company manager calls me to remind me that I have to get first place because it’s expected of me, but what if I don’t debut at all? If I can’t pay off my trainee debts, I can’t even take care of myself, and then how will I support my family?”

Jaehyun takes a deep, shuddering breath, tears dripping down his face. Doyoung shifts closer to him and winds an arm around the younger’s shoulders, and Jaehyun immediately curls up against him, shaking. “And—my image is supposed to be the cheerful, charismatic trainee, the always smiley one, but I don’t know if I can keep that up in front of the cameras if I keep messing up.” He whispers, turning his face against Doyoung’s shoulder.

Doyoung doesn’t say anything for a while, fingers stroking through the younger’s hair absentmindedly. “I think I misjudged you, Jaehyun.”

“Huh?” Jaehyun sniffs.

“I thought you were those types of happy-go-lucky people, the ones who didn’t care when they made mistakes, the ones who deserved less to debut. I’m sorry for thinking that way, because now I can see how deserving you are of your debut.” Doyoung says regretfully.

“Hyung,” Jaehyun says, slightly shocked.

Doyoung continues, not letting Jaehyun cut in. “You’re so hardworking, and I can see it so clearly now. The burden of being first is way more than anyone can imagine, but you’re handling it so well. You’re even burdened with having to open our position evaluation song for us with the piano, and your lines are vocally taxing, but you’re doing it all so perfectly.”

“Doyoung hyung…” Jaehyun whines, resting his head against Doyoung’s shoulder.

“But you’re overworking yourself. Trust me when I say practicing way too much is as bad as too little, because you don’t know when your own body will give out. You might lose your voice, and the stress will affect your stage performance. You’re already doing so well, Jaehyun, and I need you to believe in yourself.” Doyoung finishes, ruffling his hair.

“Thank you, hyung.” Jaehyun exhales after a pause, taking in Doyoung’s words. “I needed that. I was so scared of messing up that even when I went to sleep after practicing until almost dawn, I couldn’t even sleep.”

“It’s okay, Jaehyun. You have Taeyong hyung, and all your close friends and your fans, and me. It’ll be alright.” Doyoung soothes, and lets Jaehyun snuffle on his shoulder, eventually falling asleep.

Carefully, he pulls Jaehyun up and onto his shoulders, tsking when he realises Jaehyun wasn’t as heavy as he’d expected a muscular, fully-grown boy to be. He’d have to make sure Jaehyun ate properly. Shakily, he pulls open the door and shuffles down the hallway and the stairs towards his room, depositing the sleeping boy into his bed, closing the door softly behind him.

-

Their performance goes amazingly, and their team receives the most cheers and applause out of all the vocal teams and Doyoung smiles, drained and tired but satisfied. Jaehyun—of course—receives first place, with Doyoung taking second, but he can’t find it in himself to be bitter about it, watching Jaehyun smile exuberantly at the camera.

They hug backstage afterwards, and Jaehyun clings on to Doyoung tightly, fingers digging into Doyoung’s clothes, and Doyoung hugs back just as tightly. “I’m proud of you, Jaehyun-ah.” Doyoung murmurs, too soft for the cameras to pick up. “Thank you, hyung.” Jaehyun whispers back, and Doyoung smiles.

-

During the next elimination, Jaehyun takes over Mark’s position as first once again, and Doyoung climbs up the ranks to take ninth place, higher than he’d ever expected. Ten jumps from twentieth place to clinch sixth place after he’d taken the first ranking in the dance evaluations, and Doyoung claps, incredibly proud. Donghyuck sits next to him in the eighth position seat, reaching out to hold Doyoung’s hand in a rare display of affection.

Later, they scroll through comments on Jaehyun’s phone back in the dorms, with the younger propped up against Doyoung’s shoulder comfortably, and his shoulder kind of aches but he can’t find it in himself to complain.

[ENTERTAINMENT] Produce 101’s second elimination

Comments

  1. [+5699, -90] Wow, SM ent is seriously unbelievable, all of their trainees are in the single-digits ranking.

  1. [+3021, -23] They deserve it so much!! Mark is seriously amazing at rapping, Ten is one of the best dancers I’ve seen, Donghyuck’s vocals is the sweetest and Doyoung is so stable and so caring towards other trainees

  1. [+4002, -50] Doyoung is so funny ㅋㅋㅋ he’s always bullied by Donghyuck and younger trainees but still tries to roast them back but somehow also takes care of them so well!! My pick

  1. [+6001, -45] Sorry Taeyong and Doyoung shippers, the Dojae nation is taking over now they are so cute! Did u see their hug omo

  1. [+200, -3391] Lol SM probably bought votes or something how can all trainees be so high ranked

  1. [+4982, -102] They’re popular because they’re talented, can you say the same about your faves???

  1. [+4354, -42] Doyoung is like a trainee collector LOL Taeyong and then Jaehyun, but I think the cutest is Donghyuck and Yukhei!  
  


“I’ve never gotten this many positive comments before,” Jaehyun marvels at the screen, eyes lit up.

“What do you mean? I always see plenty fans commenting about you.” Doyoung logs off and switches off his phone, laying it aside. “But there’s as many, if not more negative comments about me not deserving first place as there are from the supportive fans.” Jaehyun says, eyes cast down at the blanket.

_You’re guilty of that too, _Doyoung tells himself, a wave of regret washing through him. Regret from assuming that he knew everything of the younger trainee’s personality, from mislabeling him as carefree and undeserving of his position when he hadn’t even thought of what the first-place trainee had to go through. “I’m learning new things from you every day, Jaehyun-ah.” Doyoung says, fingers combing through his hair.

  
Jaehyun cocks his head quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“It’s amazing how strong you are, how you haven’t given up yet.” Doyoung says softly, simply, but it’s enough for Jaehyun to look at him, eyes full of overwhelming, unreadable emotions. “Don’t start crying on me, the other trainees will think that I bullied you.” Doyoung mutters half-jokingly and Jaehyun tucks his head into the curve of Doyoung’s neck again, murmuring a soft _thank you._

That’s more than enough for Doyoung.


	2. and how the earth revolves around you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and despite all that’s happened, all that’s left for doyoung and jaehyun to do is to run towards their debut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again there are inaccuracies regarding the actual produce timeline! but i hope the read is still enjoyable cc: pls do point out any grammatical or spelling mistakes if you spot any! thank you <3

“Who knew Doyoung had it in him to be such a flirt?” Donghyuck says loudly to Ten in the cafeteria. Doyoung’s hand twitches with the urge to slap their youngest trainee upside his head, but the cameras were rolling, so he resists, choosing to kick Donghyuck under the table instead.

“With Taeyong and Jaehyun!” Ten replies, equally as loudly. “I can hear both of you, you know.” Doyoung mutters, and Jaehyun, sitting beside him, does nothing but chuckle. “And it’s Doyoung _hyung, _you brat.”

“You were meant to hear it.” Ten snorts obnoxiously.

“It’s okay, I like Doyoungie hyung a lot too,” Jaehyun says serenely, smiling with dimples on show. Donghyuck screeches, hitting the table and Mark shies away from his flailing arms, shooting him an exasperated glance. “Did you hear that? Did you hear that?” He turns to Yukhei, grabbing him by his shoulders.

Yukhei grins back at him, unphased by his ear-splitting shriek. “Doyoung hyung and Jaehyun hyung are cute,” He announces, amidst Mark’s groaning and Sicheng’s tired sigh.

“Taeyong, how do you feel about this?” Yukhei asks, turning to Taeyong, imaginary mic in his hand pointed at the trainee. “I’m a little upset, but I can let Doyoung steal Jaehyun, I guess.” He plays along, and Doyoung feels the incoming migraine setting in already.

“It’s a love triangle!” Donghyuck shouts, and Doyoung is so glad that moment that fans are used to Donghyuck’s overdramatic antics, because if they actually believed the words coming out of his mouth, he would have an entirely new problem to deal with.

Jaehyun laughs at Doyoung’s irritated eye-roll, nudging him lightly. “Love triangle, eh?” He teases, and Doyoung is acutely aware of the production crew’s cameras trained on them. “I don’t know about that,” Doyoung sniffs, but pats the top of Jaehyun’s head, eliciting an outburst of groans from their table.

“I don’t want to see this while I’m eating!”

-

The light, cheerful atmosphere only lasts for as long as until the concept evaluation filming date arrives. There are five songs that have been individually assigned to them based on fan votes, and for Doyoung, it’s a coin toss between _Regular_ and _Limitless_.

He goes up to receive his envelope, but the little notecard inside doesn’t inform him of his song allocation, so he goes to his assigned room, hi-fiving Mark on the way out, choosing to ignore Donghyuck’s exaggerated waving.

The room is two floor down and he walks in silence, a rare moment during episode filming. _Which song would Jaehyun be assigned to? _He wonders idly, stepping down the last step and turning right into the room.

Carefully, he opens the door. The cameraman follows right behind him, but by now, he’s used to the constant presence of the camera trained on him. The room, at first glance, is seemingly empty. It’s an average training room, walls covered by mirrors on all sides so he should be able to see anyone else in the room.

He sees a flash of brown peek out behind the pillar at the corner of the practice room, and rolls his eyes mentally. “Is anyone here?” He calls, knowing full well what was going to happen.

Taking slow steps, he walks into the room, and—

“Ah!” Someone shouts, jumping out from behind the pillar, and Doyoung looks up at Jaehyun, his eyes sparkling with childlike glee. “Oh my, you scared me.” He deadpans, hands up.

“Hyung!” Jaehyun complains, hitting his shoulder lightly. “I said you surprised me!” Doyoung laughs, weak in the face of Jaehyun’s pout.

They settle down in the centre of the room, one of Jaehyun’s arms slung over Doyoung’s shoulder casually, and Doyoung leans into his shoulder, relaxed as they wait for the other trainees to come in.

“What do you think our song will be?” Doyoung asks once all the trainees have entered the room, and Jaehyun hums thoughtfully. “I was thinking either Regular or Limitless,”

“Oh, that’s what I thought too!” Taeyong, who had come in right after Doyoung, says excitedly.

“Personally, I’d prefer Regular.” Hyunjin, one of the younger trainees, says. Next to him, Seungmin nods in assent.

“Limitless has a really cool beat too, though.” Subin offers.

“Anyway, we have those three in this team, so I’m pretty sure either of those concepts are possible.” Wooyoung points at Jaehyun, Taeyong and Doyoung, and all the trainees laugh, and Doyoung is suddenly very aware of Jaehyun’s arm draped around him.

“Ah, now I feel like a third wheel.” Taeyong pouts, and Doyoung flushes, poking at Jaehyun’s leg, but Jaehyun doesn’t let go of him.

The cameraman signals for them to go and peel off the sticker obscuring the song title, and Seungmin, closest to the board, gets up to do it. “Ready?” He calls, and everyone cheers.

He peels off a tiny corner of the sticker, and Hyunjin shouts, “Hurry up already!”

“Okay, okay.” Seungmin rolls his eyes, but only pretends to pull off the sticker. “Seungmin!” Jaehyun groans.

With a lot of unnecessary gusto, Seungmin rips off the sticker to reveal _REGULAR _in bold black and yellow font. The room erupts into screams, and they huddle together in a group hug, incredibly happy. “Let’s win this!” Taeyong shouts, and all of them echo after him.

-

“No, Subin, you have to put a little more emphasis on this line, adjust your tone a little.” Doyoung says patiently, pointing at the lyrics sheet. It wasn’t that Subin was a bad vocal. He was hard-working and eager to learn, but some of the notes in Regular weren’t easy to pull off.

The younger trainee tries again, and it’s slightly better this time. “Good! Just keep practicing, okay?” Doyoung pats his back, and Subin smiles at him gratefully as he leaves the cramped studio room.

“How’s it going with your parts, Wooyoung?” Doyoung asks, slowing down as he enters the team’s practice room. “Not bad, but I can’t seem to figure out how to transition from this stanza to the next.” Wooyoung says, slumped against the wall.

He sits down next to Wooyoung, and the trainee passes his notebook filled with scribbles and annotations over. Doyoung hums out the tune in his head, eyes scanning over the lyrics.

“You can sustain this last note and carry it over to the next, and it shouldn’t be too difficult to pull off because there’s not much break between this stanza and the next.” Doyoung suggests, and Wooyoung’s eyes light up. “That’s awesome, hyung!” He takes his notebook back and scrawls some illegible words down, and Doyoung ruffles his hair, standing up.

“Doyoung!” Taeyong calls, waving him over. “What do you think of this?” Taeyong asks, before he signals for Hyunjin to play the music, and both of them dance a newly-changed part of their choreography. “We tweaked the dance a little so it’s more…showy for this part.” Taeyong explains, and Doyoung claps, genuinely impressed. “It’s really good!” He says, compulsory dance training during their training at SM finally becoming useful.

“Thank you, hyung!” Hyunjin lights up, and Doyoung smiles warmly at him. _Ah, Hyunjin and Donghyuck are the same age, but why is Hyunjin so much cuter than that brat? _He thinks absentmindedly, making his way down the corridor to his self-reserved studio room.

Singing comes naturally to Doyoung. He’d performed at his school festivals and choir showcases since elementary school, and it was something he was confident at. He’d hesitated when SM had scouted him from a school performance, slightly unwilling to turn his hobby into a lifelong job, but it was a decision he wouldn’t regret.

Soundlessly, the door opens just a crack and Jaehyun slips into the dimly-lit room, beanie shoved over his hair. Doyoung tilts his head to the side to acknowledge his presence, but continues singing, eyes slid shut.

He comes to the end of his stanza, and Jaehyun breaks into quiet applause. “You’re so good, hyung.” He says admiringly, and Doyoung shuffles closer to him, legs tucked up against his chest. “I would hope so. I mean, I came in as a main vocalist, and if I wasn’t good at it…”

“No, what I mean is that you’re really good. Like, I can easily say you’re the best in the entire show, and you help so many people with their issues when you could just focus on yourself. It’s incredibly. And your vocals really draw people in, you know? I could listen to you singing all day.” Jaehyun confesses.

“Ah, when you say it like that,” Doyoung mutters, blushing. It wasn’t rare for him to receive compliments on his singing, but coming from Jaehyun, with his incredibly sincere expression and eyes sparkling in the dim lighting, it felt special.

“Sorry, was that too direct? I know you chose this room because they removed the cameras for maintenance, but if it’s too much, I’ll just shut up.” Jaehyun quickly says.

“No, I’m just really thankful for you—for you saying that. Especially since your vocals are one of the best I’ve heard too, and all your fans seem to think so too, judging by their screams during your performances.” Doyoung assures him, his knee nudging Jaehyun’s.

Jaehyun looks down. “I care more of what you think, hyung.” Doyoung can’t help the overwhelmingly fond smile that stretches across his face, poking Jaehyun’s cheek.

He scowls playfully and bats away Doyoung’s finger, and then the room is silent apart from their breathing, the noises coming from the trainees’ practice sessions muffled by the walls.

A month ago, he would never have imagined him pressed up against Jaehyun’s side in a small studio, or him laughing along to Jaehyun’s incredibly unfunny, lame jokes in the safety of their rooms. It’s a warm, comforting feeling and Doyoung smiles contentedly.

-

It’s down to the announcement of the top two performance teams, and Doyoung holds his breath, torn between feeling incredibly happy that they were in the top two but also desperately hoping for first. It didn’t even matter if he didn’t get top in his team.

He holds on to Seungmin’s hand on one side and Taeyong’s on the other, eyes squeezed shut. This team had been one of the best teams he’s been in, and call him greedy, selfish, but he wants this so badly.

“Second place, New Heroes!” The representative announces, and Doyoung’s eyes widen for a moment before the realization that they’d placed first sinks in. “Oh my god!” He shouts, and beside him, Seungmin begins jumping up and down in excitement, with the younger trainees following suit. Taeyong buries his face in his hands, and Doyoung pulls him closer with an arm around the shoulder.

“We’re so close to debuting, Doyoung.” He chokes out, eyes reddening. “I know, I know.” Doyoung murmurs, the urge to burst into overemotional tears beginning to surface.

The ranking pyramid suddenly appears on the screen, and he feels Taeyong flinch in shock from next to him. They announce rankings for Simon Says first, and then Cherry Bomb, smiling in pride as he sees Mark’s name take first place, with a gap of thirty votes between him and the next trainee. Limitless goes next, and Donghyuck takes fifth place.

Ten, as everyone had expected, ranks first in New Heroes, overtaking both Mark and Donghyuck to claim first position, just three votes ahead of Mark.

The representative takes an unnecessarily long period of time to announce Regular’s ranking. He stalls, and it feels like an eternity until he reaches the top three ranks in the group, and Doyoung’s name hasn’t been called yet.

“Lee Taeyong!” The representative says, and his name shows up at fourth place, pushing Donghyuck down a rank, but the younger trainee doesn’t seem to mind, screaming.

“Kim Doyoung,” He hears, and inhales sharply. “What place do you think you’ll be at?”

“Hopefully in the top fifteen?” He tries, and the trainees boo. “Don’t try to be humble!” Donghyuck jeers, and Doyoung shoots a weak glare at him.

“How about you, Jaehyun?”

“I don’t think I can beat Doyoung hyung, so maybe top twenty?” Jaehyun says, and the trainees boo even louder, and Doyoung hits Jaehyun on the shoulder. “Stop humble bragging!” Yukhei calls, and Jaehyun laughs, embarrassed.

“And the last two rankings!” The trainees start a makeshift drumroll, and Doyoung reaches out blindly, and Jaehyun grabs onto his hand.

“Second place, Jung Jaehyun!” The trainees clap enthusiastically, but Doyoung’s jaw drops in shock, turning stiffly to Jaehyun. “What?” He stutters, trembling. “You did it, Doyoung!” Jaehyun grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him into a hug, and Doyoung lets him.

“First overall place, rising to the top and beating second place by sixteen votes, Kim Doyoung!” The entire studio bursts into cheers, and he feels a smaller body clinging onto him from behind, and suddenly he’s surrounded by familiar bodies—Donghyuck, Mark, Taeyong, Ten.

If he tears up a little that night, no one sees it.

-

They get a short break before the final evaluation. Within the one-week break, the company brings them back to headquarters to brief them on the final few episodes, and then lets them go. “Good job,” One of the kinder manager tells them on their way out, and Doyoung gives her a tiny smile.

“Donghyuck, are you going back to Jeju?” Doyoung asks. “Yeah, I’m staying at my parents’ house for a few days and then coming back to Seoul.” Donghyuck says.

“Ten, Mark, how about you? Where are you going?” Doyoung turns to them. It’s concerning because their actual families are thousands of miles away from them at the moment, and it’s just not feasible for Ten to fly back to Thailand or Mark to Canada.

Ten shrugs. “I think I might stay at our dorms or something.”

“Same.” Mark nods.

Doyoung frowns, aghast. “You can’t go back to the dorms!”

“What else can we do?” Ten sighs and flicks Doyoung lightly. “Stop worrying, we’ll be fine.”

He isn’t listening. “Oh, you can just stay with me! I live with my brother in Seoul while my parents live in Gyeonggi, and my brother is travelling out to the countryside to visit his girlfriend’s parents, so the house will be empty.”

Donghyuck gasps. “A sleepover? Without me? I’m definitely going over the moment I come back from Jeju.”

“No, I don’t think we should…” Mark trails off, winded as Ten elbows him, hard.

“What Mark means is that, yes, of course we’d be pleased to!” Ten grabs his duffel bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “Now, which way is your house?”

-

“Donghyuck, put that down before I go to the guest room and rip up your Jackson 5 shirt!” Doyoung shouts, head peering out of his bedroom window. Donghyuck freezes from where he’s about to throw a wine glass at the fence.

(“For practice!” He says defensively, later on. Doyoung doesn’t buy it.)

Slowly, he lowers the wine glass, and Doyoung glares at him until he walks back into the kitchen and hears the cling of glass against the shelf. “Done, you old man!” Donghyuck yells, and Doyoung resists the urge to go and cut up his shirts anyway.

Just then, the bell rings. “I’m getting it!” Mark calls.

There’s only sounds of the door opening and footsteps, until he hears a very loud, very enthusiastic, “LEE DONGHYUCK!” Doyoung jumps, and runs down the stairs immediately. He doesn’t want any more chinaware broken.

“Xuxi!” Donghyuck screams back, and Doyoung watches in slight disbelief as Yukhei and Donghyuck collide in the middle of his living room and Yukhei picks Donghyuck up and spins him around like he weighs nothing.

“What are you doing here?” Doyoung asks incredulously. “We happened to pass by your neighbourhood and decided to drop by!” Jaehyun says, crossing the living room to hi-five Ten, and then walking up to Doyoung and giving him a one-armed hug.

“He’s lying,” Taeyong informs him. “We were at Hongje and then Jaehyun begged us to go down all the way to Yangjae to visit you.”

Jaehyun pouts at the floor, but doesn’t make an effort to deny it. Doyoung laughs and ruffles his hair. “That’s cute, don’t worry about it. Wanna come up and see embarrassing fetus pictures of Taeyong?”

“No!” Taeyong protests, at the same time as Jaehyun says, “Yes!” very enthusiastically. “Can I take photos of those? I need it to keep as blackmail.” Sicheng says, grinning.

“Of course.” Doyoung says, and leads them up the stairs with Jaehyun still holding on to the back of his shirt.

-

The week passes by incredibly fast, and before he knows it, Doyoung is in the company car on the way back to the filming site.

The third takes place, and Doyoung isn’t particularly worried at first. The first SM trainee is called at the tenth place, and Ten walks up to the sofa seats, smiling cheerfully, at Sicheng in the eleventh seat. Then Donghyuck goes up at ninth, linking pinkies with Yukhei, sitting at eighth.

He starts to worry when Mark gets called at seventh. Sure, the benefit votes from his first position at on-site voting was sure to boost his votes, but by how much? Had he dropped out of top eleven entirely, and slid all the way down to thirtieth place—or below?

Taeyong is called at fifth place, and Doyoung frowns, chewing anxiously on his bottom lip. Hyunjin walks up the pyramid to his fourth position seat, squeezing Doyoung’s shoulder on the way up and whispering a soft_thank you._

By the time third place is called and it isn’t him, he sinks down in his seat, beginning to feel the despair and dread wash over him. If he returned to the company now, he isn’t certain of his future as a trainee anymore. “Hey,” Jaehyun whispers, and when had he shifted to the seat beside Doyoung.

“I can see you panicking.” Jaehyun continues, voice soft.

“I’d like to see you try not and panic when you’re just about to get eliminated.” Doyoung says, his voice barely a whisper.

“First place contenders, Jung Jaehyun and Kim Doyoung!”

His heart stops.

-

Somehow, getting first wasn’t that explosive as he thought it would be. No earth-shattering realisations or feelings, just a deep sense of relief and gratefulness.

“You deserve it, Doie.” Jaehyun says, turning around to beam at him brightly.

“I would never have expected this,” He murmurs, fingers running over the first-place seat’s armrest in wonder.

“I would.” Jaehyun says. “You’re so incredibly talented, it was only a matter of time before everyone else began to learn how to properly appreciate you.”

“Thank you, Jaehyun.” He pauses, a multitude of emotions threatening to spill out of his mouth. “That means a lot to me.”

[ENTERTAINMENT] Produce 101’s 9thepisode

Comments

  1. [+7002, -52] Our first place Doyoung!! We’re so proud of you

  1. [+8393, -69] Vocal legend Kim Doyoung rise!!

  1. [+364, -4230] Can’t believe Doyoung beat Jaehyun…he isn’t even that handsome what are fans thinking

  1. [+4730, -34] Only stupid people think that visuals are the most important have you seen Doyoung’s vocals and his leadership? The way he takes care of the other trainees is seriously admirable

  1. [+934, -59] Lol

  1. [+3046, -23] My faves are all in Limitless, but when I saw Regular perform, I knew they’d be the winning team. Congrats Regular team!!

  1. [+8439, -6] So proud of all the trainees for coming this far!

-

Doyoung glares at Donghyuck as the younger places his sticker over the main vocal position for Firetruck team. “Sorry, Doyoung hyung!” He giggles. “Just you wait and see, Lee Donghyuck.” He points at him, and the trainees break into laughter.

Following him, most of the trainees fight over their places in Superhuman, but Doyoung only has eyes for Firetruck.

Right before him, Jaehyun picks sub-vocal one in Superhuman, and Doyoung is briefly disappointed that they wouldn’t be in the same team.

“Kim Doyoung!” All the trainees’ eyes follow him as he walks up to the front and goes straight to Firetruck. “Hyung, don’t do it!” Donghyuck whines, but Doyoung tunes him out and pulls of Donghyuck’s sticker, moving him down to sub-vocal two, which had almost as many centre parts as main vocal, and sticks his own sticker onto main vocal.

Turning back to his own spot, he sees Jaehyun give him a small thumbs up, and he flashes a brief smile at him.

-

“No, Donghyuck, you cannot include a body roll on the floor during the dance break.” Doyoung says firmly, ignoring the groans of dissent coming from both Donghyuck and Yukhei.

“But it would look so cool!” Yukhei protests.

“If you think that’s cool, then you clearly haven’t seen Ten’s idea for the choreography.” Doyoung scoffs, and points to the other side of the practice room where Ten is showing some trainees his idea for the dance interlude.

“Woah,” Yukhei breathes, eyes wide in admiration.

“That’s cool, I guess.” Donghyuck allows, grumpy that his idea had been rejected.

“Everyone!” Doyoung turns to the rest of the room, pitching his voice up a few notches. The trainees look up from whatever they’re doing and at him, attentive. “Can we all gather and learn steps to the dance break from Ten?” They chorus in agreement and cluster to the front, and Doyoung watches as Ten shoots him a pained glare.

They rehearse the dance for hours continuously, until Yukhei flops to the floor, whining for a break. Doyoung checks the clock on the wall, and it’s nearing midnight anyway, so it’s about time that they head back to their rooms. “Rest up, everyone, and remember that tomorrow is the interim dance evaluations, and three days after, the trainers will watch our full performance!”

“Goodnight, hyung!” Yukhei says cheerfully as he walks out of the room, carrying a tired, clingy Donghyuck on his back. “Don’t stay too late.” Ten says as he, too, leaves, and the rest of the trainees leave after him.

Soon, he’s the only one left in the room and he finally relaxes, slumping down against the mirrored walls. He wasn’t afraid that his team would mess up terribly tomorrow, but it would be a lie to say that he wasn’t worried. If they didn’t perform up to expectations, the trainers would come for him, and he isn’t sure how his ranking would be affected.

The door to the practice room swings open, and Doyoung looks up, seeing Jaehyun slip into the room. He knows that the filming crew has left, but there’s still monitors set up in the corners of the room. “Turn off the lights,” He mouths at Jaehyun, and he complies, flicking off the light switch and pulling off his mic.

“How are you, hyung?” Jaehyun says quietly, sitting down next to Doyoung.

“Tired, I guess. The interim evaluations are tomorrow, you know?” He sighs, and Jaehyun pulls him closer.

“But your team is doing really well, right?” Jaehyun cards a hand through his hair soothingly, and Doyoung wonders how he could ever have thought badly of this caring, gentle boy.

“As good as it can get, I suppose. How about you?” Doyoung leans against Jaehyun, letting himself relax.

“There’s a bit of problem with our choreography, but Taeyong hyung is taken care of it well.” Jaehyun confesses, and Doyoung frowns. “Your team will pull it off.” He reassures, and Jaehyun smiles tiredly.

“It’s stressful being so high up. I don’t want to seem ungrateful for our positions or the fans, but sometimes I wish we weren’t in the spotlight most of the time.” Jaehyun says, voice barely above a whisper.

“I know, Jaehyun-ah.” Doyoung murmurs. “But we’re so painfully close to debut, yeah? We just have to do this for a while more and then we can take a break.”

“Yeah, let’s debut together, okay?” Jaehyun exhales, breath ruffling Doyoung’s hair.

“Of course.” Doyoung replies. There’s no response, and Doyoung turns his head slightly to see Jaehyun’s head lolled back against the mirrored wall, eyes closed. “Why are you always falling asleep and making me carry you back? Stop tiring yourself out, you’re already so good. I know you’ll do so well.” He says with the full assurance that Jaehyun is asleep. The boy doesn’t stir even when he lifts him up, carrying him back to his room.

“Sleep well, Jaehyun-ah.” He says softly, pulling the blankets up and closing the door behind him with a gentle click.

In the darkness, Jaehyun smiles, and pulls the covers over his head, falling into a dreamless sleep.

-

During one of their last few practices, Doyoung snaps, tired of the younger trainees’ playfulness and them not taking their practice seriously. Donghyuck stands beside him, and Doyoung is grateful that beneath all his silliness, Donghyuck was mature enough to take their debut seriously.

“Everyone!” He calls, eyebrows slanted downwards sharply.

The three of them barely hear him over the sound of their giggles. “Guys!” He says sharply, voice near a shout. The trainees turn towards him, smiles sliding off their faces when they see Doyoung turned towards them, arms crossed.

“Can you take this seriously? Our final performance is in a few days and we still have to learn the finale song, but you’re still goofing off?” He rakes a hand through his hair, frustrated.

They look down, suitably chastised but Doyoung can tell they’re still not in the right mind. Huffing, he turns on his heel and walks right out of the room, closing the door behind him. He hears Ten raising his voice at the trainees, and allows himself to un-tense a little, rolling his shoulders and walking into the closest studio.

The slight regret starts to set in then. _What if they edit that scene and the fans think of me as an overbearing leader? Or someone who isn’t emotionally calm enough to debut?_

He buries his head into his hands, and gives himself a few minutes of self-pity before picking himself up. _You did what was right, and told them off directly. It’s not your fault that they weren’t willing to train seriously._

Despite this, he’s still worried, mouth tilting downwards even as he exits the studio room, making his way back to the practice room.

“Doyoung hyung?” He hears someone say, worry colouring their voice and he looks up to see Jaehyun standing in front of him. “Yeah?” He answers, taking note of the blinking red light of the camera fixed on the ceiling.

“Is there anything wrong?” Jaehyun asks, and he seems to realise that they’re being filmed as well.

“Just a little frustrated and tired, I guess.” Doyoung says, forcing the slight resentment at the younger trainees out of his voice, face neutral. Jaehyun seems to want to say something, his mouth opening a bit and his hands twitching by his sides, but thinks better of it.

Jaehyun walks forward a little and places his hand on Doyoung’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “You can do it, hyung.” He says, eyes sincere and genuine, and Doyoung smiles his first real smile that day, heart warm.

“You too, Jaehyun.” He responds, and they lock eyes for the last time, all the unsaid words passing between them, and then stepping away.

He re-enters the practice room with his head up.

-

The night before the final performance, he doesn’t sleep well. Actually, he doesn’t sleep at all. In the bunk above him, Donghyuck is snoring, and beside him, Ten is burrowed into his covers, sleeping soundly.

Half a year of filming and watching his every action and word, and another couple years of tirelessly training without the assurance of a debut. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t make it into the top eleven—going back to the company and training for another few indefinite years was something he could never imagine doing.

With as little noise as possible, he slips out of bed, padding silently to the door and down the corridor, into a small studio room he often frequented.

That’s how he spent the majority of the next hour, sitting against the cold wall of the studio room, staring blankly at the floor, legs tucked up against his chest. He knew he should be sleeping, should be getting enough rest for the finale performance the next day, but he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes. The moment he falls asleep, he knew that when he woke up, he’d have to immediately begin to start his final preparations for the performance, and Doyoung couldn’t do that. Not right now.

He wasn’t ready to face the possibility of him returning to SM entertainment as an ordinary trainee, the possibility of him failing and all his teammates leaving him behind to run towards their goal.

The door opens just a crack, and a sliver of light spills into the studio.

He knows who it is the moment the person steps foot into the room, Jaehyun’s footsteps becoming intimately familiar to him over the past few weeks. “Jaehyun?”

“Doyoung hyung,” Jaehyun responds, taking his usual spot next to Doyoung. He’s wrapped in his grey hoodie, strings pulled tight around the hood. He’s absolutely adorable, and Doyoung resists the overwhelming urge to hug him tightly. “Why are you still up?”

“Just nerves for tomorrow.” Doyoung smiles tiredly.

Jaehyun snuggles closer to him, curling into Doyoung’s side although he’s a couple of centimeters taller than the other. “You’re going to do well, hyung, and you’re going to secure that spot in the debut lineup.” He says with so much confidence that Doyoung feels compelled to believe him.

“How do you know that?” Doyoung hums, playing with the strings of Jaehyun’s hoodie.

“Because if you don’t, I won’t as well.” Jaehyun says seriously, and Doyoung smiles.

He knows the untruth behind that statement—Jaehyun is the nation’s most loved trainee, and he has a guaranteed, hundred percent chance of making it in. But just for that night, in that moment, Doyoung doesn’t say anything. Rather, he exhales, the previous worry and stress in his heart lightened by just a bit.

Jaehyun falls silent too, and Doyoung rests his cheek atop Jaehyun’s head, feeling comfortable enough to close his eyes and drift into a peaceful sleep.

-

His alarm breaks the silence in the dorm, and he jerks awake with a violent start. Doyoung’s surprised to find himself back in his own dorms, under the covers of his own bed. He reaches out to the tiny bedside table, and shoves his glasses onto his face.

There’s a note on the table, and he picks it up, squinting.

_I carried you back to your room last night, hyung, so you can’t complain anymore about you being the one always having to bring me back, okay? See you later! _

_Love, Jaehyunnie <3_

“Love letter, Doyoung?” Ten yawns, standing at the doorframe of the bathroom. Doyoung jumps in surprise for the second time that day. “Since when were you awake?” He grumbles, pushing his fringe out of his eyes.

“Like, just. Dibs on not being the one to have to wake Donghyuck and Hyunjin up!” Ten says, crossing his fingers, and Doyoung groans.

-

The dressing room is a flurry of makeup brushes and stylists. “Lee Donghyuck, if you rub your eyes one more time and the eyeliner smudges, I will force you to go on stage looking like you just got dumped.” Hongjoong, a makeup artist says, spraying Donghyuck’s face with setting spray.

“Yukhei would never do that to me. Right, Xuxi?” Donghyuck pouts after Hongjoong has moved on to the next trainee, and Doyoung watches in amusement as Yukhei stutters and blushes.

“How are you feeling?” Jaehyun pulls up a chair next to him, having just finished his stage makeup and outfit adjustments. “Like I’m about to throw up.” Doyoung says with perfect honesty. “You?”

“Same.” Jaehyun agrees, and Doyoung leans in, flicking a stray eyelash off Jaehyun’s cheekbones. “Kill it onstage, okay? Show everyone that you deserve your shiny first place seat.” Doyoung leans back, and Jaehyun beams.

“You too, hyung.”

-

Fifteen minutes before their designated performance time, Doyoung witnesses Donghyuck go through a silent mental breakdown. Unlike his usual dramatism, he doesn’t cry, or shout, or even bother Doyoung. Instead, he’s curled up at the corner of the dressing room, full stage outfit and makeup ready, head in his hands.

Doyoung glances around cautiously. Yukhei was in another room doing his fitting, so it wasn’t possible to call him over now. Besides, as much as Donghyuck adores the other boy, he doesn’t think Yukhei is the right person to be with him right now.

He sits down next to Donghyuck quietly, resting a hand on top of his shoulder. Donghyuck looks up, eyes dry. “Can’t ruin my makeup, you know?” He jokes, voice cracking a little.

“Nervous for the stage?” Doyoung asks gently.

“I think nervous is an understatement right now, hyung.” Donghyuck laughs weakly, and Doyoung nods. A moment of silent passes, both of them understanding the exact situation that the other is in right now. Doyoung doesn’t know the right words or what to say that’ll make Donghyuck feel better—words aren’t enough to make the harshness of the idol world disappear, so he stays by Donghyuck’s side for the next few minutes, a familiar, comforting presence by his side.

-

The cheers and applause that greets them when the team goes on stage is slightly overwhelming. Doyoung’s eyes sweep over the audience, picking out his name—his name!—printed on multiple slogans and fan boards, and it’s a little comforting, to know that he had people who supported him out there.

Their centre, Ten, opens the performance with a dance solo, and the screams are deafening. Doyoung tunes out all other senses, and pours his all into what may possibly be his last performance.

He has to make it.

-

The typical emotional videos are played, and Doyoung laughs when necessary, but he’s too nervous to actually enjoy it. He knows the reveal of the final debut line-up will be right after the interlude, and it’s nerve-wrecking.

Beside him, Jaehyun squeezes his hand lightly, a steady beacon of assurance and comfort. They start with much fanfare from the national representative, and Jaehyun doesn’t let go of his hand, but for once, Doyoung doesn’t think about the cameras.

Sicheng is called at eleventh place, and their company stands in a huddle, arms around a shell-shocked Sicheng. Ten is called at tenth, much to the glee of Donghyuck.

“I told you, hyung! I told you you’d get in!” Donghyuck screams, already beginning to tear up. “Why are you crying already, brat? It’s my time to cry, not yours.” Ten says, voice breaking.

Doyoung watches fondly as Ten, even while crying, manages to pull off an impressive thank-you speech. Two other trainees from separate companies are called as ninth and eighth, and then Yukhei at seventh.

A smaller hand reaches out to intertwine with his, and he glances over to see Donghyuck holding on to his hand tightly. Taeyong stands on the other side of Jaehyun, and they all stand in silence as the national representative starts to announce the next trainee in sixth place.

“Lee Donghyuck!” Donghyuck turns around to congratulate the person behind him, but Doyoung grabs onto his other hand and pulls him into a hug. “It’s you, stupid! Donghyuck, you got in!” Doyoung shouts, arms wrapped impossibly tightly around his shoulders, shaking him.

“Oh,” Donghyuck says, voice cracking on the syllable. Doyoung feels Mark join into their hug as the waterworks start, and he feels a wet patch starting to form on his stage outfit, but he can’t bring himself to care. “Go on, go up there.” Doyoung nudges Donghyuck away gently, and the younger boy stumbles shakily up onto the stage.

He sniffles his way through his speech, and the crowd starts a chant of _‘don’t cry! don’t cry! don’t cry!’ _

“Ah, if you say it like that then of course I’ll start crying even more.” Donghyuck says, but there’s a gigantic smile on his face. As he walks up the pyramid, he’s stopped by Yukhei, who runs up to him and scoops him up into a giant bear hug, spinning him around, much to Donghyuck’s protest.

They’re at the top five now, and Doyoung starts to doubt himself—what if he never placed in the top eleven at all? “You’re shaking,” Jaehyun murmurs, and Doyoung gives a miniscule nod. _I’m afraid, _he thinks, but he can’t say it out loud, so he looks at Jaehyun with as much emotions as he can in his eyes, hoping that the younger understands.

He does, of course. Jaehyun gives his hand a squeeze, and their palms are starting to get sweaty, but at this point, Doyoung would rather die than relinquish his grip on Jaehyun’s hand.

Much to their surprise, none of them are called up at fifth place. It’s Seungsik, a slightly older trainee with impressive vocals. “Wait,” He whispers, shocked, as the implications of not being called yet begins to set in.

“The moment you’ve all been waiting for…the contenders for first place are Lee Taeyong and Jung Jaehyun from Paradise Entertainment!” The national representative says, and Doyoung turns to look at Jaehyun with pride, smiling incredibly widely.

“And from SM Entertainment, Kim Doyoung and Mark Lee!”

“That’s my Doyoung!” He hears Ten scream faintly from the pyramid, but he’s too overwhelmed to be embarrassed by him. Jaehyun lets go of his hand to pull him into his side, an arm wrapped around his shoulder, and Doyoung does the same to Mark, sitting beside him.

It’s all come down to this. The deciding moment that Doyoung knew was bound to happen one day, and he’s glad that the people he loved were by his side.

“In fourth place…” The national representative trails off, as the screen flashes from Taeyong to Doyoung, and then Mark, and Jaehyun. “From Paradise Entertainment…”

“Oh my god, it’s me!” Jaehyun shouts, making to stand up and walk his way upstage, but Taeyong pushes him back down. “You’re going to be first.” Taeyong says firmly.

“In fourth place, Lee Taeyong!”

Taeyong stands up from his seat gracefully, and Doyoung immediately stands up to hug him. “Even though we went through all those things back then, we’re finally debuting together, huh?” Doyoung whispers, voice shaking. Taeyong hugs him back fiercely, and Doyoung is reminded of all those times Taeyong, despite his gentle and kind demeanor, would argue back with the managers and staff on behalf of both of them, and defending Doyoung from the older trainees back then.

“I’m so happy.” Taeyong sniffles, forehead pressed into Doyoung’s shoulder, and gives him one last squeeze before he detaches himself, walking slowly towards the stage.

“And now, third place!” Doyoung sits back down after clapping for Taeyong, shoulder-to-shoulder with Jaehyun and Mark.

“From SM Entertainment…”

“It’s going to be me.” Doyoung says immediately, because he knows how good Mark is—how loved the younger was amongst their fans. Mark curls his fingers around Doyoung’s bicep. “Don’t say that, hyung.” Mark says insistently, eyes wide and vulnerable as they wait for the national representative to announce third place.

“SM Entertainment’s Mark Lee! Congratulations, Mark!”

Doyoung doesn’t move. He freezes up for a few seconds, disbelieving. Mark goes onto stage with the loudest cheers of the entire event, but Doyoung’s too stunned to listen to any part of his speech.

“The contenders for first place of this season of Produce 101 are Paradise Entertainment’s Jung Jaehyun and SM Entertainment’s Kim Doyoung! Please make your way onto the stage.”

The only reason why Doyoung manages to make it to the stage without tripping is Jaehyun, who has an arm secured around Doyoung’s shoulder, supporting him up the stairs and onto the stage. “This is so unreal,” he whispers, and Jaehyun looks at him, eyes alight. “But you deserve this.” He responds quietly.

“Jaehyun, Doyoung, the fans are absolutely in love with your perfect chemistry with each other since the beginning of the show! Do you have anything to say about each other?” The national representative asks once they’ve both ascended the stage.

Doyoung falters, unsure of what he should say that would be appropriate for the fan’s ears. That he hated Jaehyun with all his heart for a good two months? That he respected and adored the younger boy so, so much?

Thankfully, Jaehyun somehow seems to sense his inner turmoil and starts first. “Well, to be honest, we didn’t get along so well at the very beginning.” He pauses, and a ripple of laughter passes through the crowd. “But now, as you can see, we’re very close. I really look up to Doyoung hyung, and he’s amazingly talented and kind towards other trainees, even if he comes off as rough sometimes. I don’t know if I’d even be standing here if not for him.” Jaehyun finishes, and Doyoung is left even more speechless.

The national representative hands over the mic to Doyoung, and he fumbles with it for a bit before finally bringing it up to his mouth. “Uh, well, after what Jaehyun said, I don’t know what I can say to beat him.” He hesitates, and someone screams _‘Kim Doyoung, I love you!’_. He laughs awkwardly.

“I love you too! And back to Jaehyunnie…he may seem carefree and forever happy most of the time, but he’s also incredibly hard-working and gifted. I’m very grateful that he gave me the chance to know him better. Thank you, Jaehyun-ah.” Doyoung says. “But don’t expect me to give chance to you just because we’re close, okay? I’m still going to beat you.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“After that touching speech, I almost don’t want to look at the results.” The national representative sighs dramatically, and Doyoung can’t help but break into a smile. “Oh my, what is this?” The representative says upon glancing at the cue card in his hand. “This is…this is a very unexpected result. This has never happened in all the seasons.”

Doyoung bites his lower lip, worried. Was there a miscalculation in the votes, and was Doyoung not in the final debut line-up at all? “Hey.” Jaehyun says, reaching out for his hand, and Doyoung lets him take it numbly.

“Stop worrying so much, okay?” Jaehyun chides gently, and the fans coo over his words. Doyoung looks up to meet his eyes, and Jaehyun smiles at him.

“In second place…” Doyoung grips onto Jaehyun’s hand, fingernails digging into skin, but Jaehyun doesn’t pull away. Instead, he tightens his grip on Doyoung’s hand in return, squeezing it once.

“There is no one.” The representative says, and a hush falls around the entire arena. Doyoung stops breathing, pupils blown wide. _No second place?_

“And in first place, Kim Doyoung and Jung Jaehyun, each with exactly five million, six hundred-thousand and ninety-two votes. They’ve tied for first place, congratulations Doyoung and Jaehyun!” The arena goes wild, cheering and screaming.

_Impossible, _he thinks faintly, shocked.

“Doyoung, please say a few words to your fans.”

“Uh,” Doyoung says eloquently. “I…I really didn’t expect this. At all.” He feels a pressure building up behind his eyes, and quickly presses the heel of his palm to his eyes. “Thank you so much for this.”

He stutters to a stop, feeling the tears begin to leak out of his eyes unbidden. Suddenly, a familiar presence steps closer beside him, reaching for his hand, interlinking it loosely between them.

“Thank you so much for placing your trust in me, even if I may not be the best person to be the centre. I promise I’ll work harder to fulfil your expectations of me.” He reaches up again to wipe the tears from his cheeks, running a hand through his hair. “And I definitely wouldn’t have been able to stand here without a few of my closest friends—Ten, Donghyuck, Mark, Taeyong and Jaehyun. Thank you all so much.”

He passes the microphone to Jaehyun, and holds tightly onto Jaehyun’s hand. “Thank you to all the fans. I don’t know what I’ve done right to deserve all this love from you, but I promise to show all of you a better side of me in the future.” Jaehyun ends his speech quickly, and Doyoung can see the younger boy trying to hold back his tears.

“Congratulations to Jaehyun and Doyoung once again, please proceed to your respective seats.”

“Hyung!” He hears just a millisecond before a body slams into him, and he stumbles back. He’s barely regained his balance when another person hugs him from the back, and then a third. “We all made it!” Donghyuck shouts excitedly, eyes glimmering with happy tears.

“We did,” Mark says dazedly.

“I’m so glad we can debut together, I guess everything leading up to this did pay off.” Ten sniffles, and Doyoung feels his disbelief begin to fade away, and happiness and pride slowly replacing it.

“We’re going to debut.” Doyoung says, reveling in the sound of the word, and for once the word doesn’t feel like a curse.

For once, his goal of debuting didn’t seem so unattainable. _I’m debuting, _he thinks, tears beginning to well up in his eyes again, and it doesn’t matter that their contract is for a little over a year. He’s _debuting_.

-

Later, when they’re packing their bags in the dorm, ready to go back for a week of rest before their schedules begin—in an idol group!—properly, and the cameras have all been removed from the place, Doyoung finds himself alone in a room with Jaehyun.

He’s finished packing, and sits on the bottom bunk of Jaehyun’s room, waiting for the younger to finish shoving his clothes into his luggage.

“We’re really going to debut, huh?” Doyoung says out loud, legs tucked up against his chest. Jaehyun hums, and finally manages to zip his luggage shut, and pushes it out of the way, sitting next to Doyoung.

“It feels weird that we’re not in the studio room, you know? I came to associate that room with comfort after you came around.” Jaehyun murmurs, and Doyoung wonders, amazed, how Jaehyun can manage to say everything with the most genuine sincerity. “Thank you, Jaehyun-ah.” Doyoung whispers softly, leaning against Jaehyun’s shoulder.

Jaehyun doesn’t ask him what he means. They both know the magnitude of their feelings regarding each other, and Jaehyun knows very well what he means.

“So, I guess we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other in the next year.” Jaehyun says, gazing down at their interconnected hands.

“More than the next year!” Doyoung pouts, and Jaehyun nudges his shoulder. “Way more than the next few years.” He says with confidence. A comfortable silence falls over the room, and he hears footsteps thumping down the corridor, and Donghyuck shouting to Mark that their driver is here.

“You’ve worked hard, Jaehyun-ah.” Doyoung finally says, turning his head to look Jaehyun in the eyes, and Jaehyun looks back, eyes awash with unsaid emotions.

They leave the room quietly, unspoken promises hanging in the air between them, and part with a hug. Jaehyun’s fingers grip tightly onto Doyoung’s shirt, and Doyoung rests his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder for a second before their driver honks for the third time.

“See you soon, Doyoung.” Jaehyun murmurs, and presses a kiss on top of Doyoung’s head, walking away to enter his company car.

Doyoung gets into the car, head spinning with a thousand emotions. As the car leaves the training complex for the last time, he sees Jaehyun’s car drive past, with the windows rolled down. Jaehyun sticks his head out, waving at Doyoung, and Doyoung waves back, smiling.

The tinted windows roll back up and Jaehyun’s car drives away, and all he’s left with is the twinkling, endless night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and that’s the end! i’m aware that joint first place...is...not...really...feasible...bc mnet would never allow that to happen hshshs but let me LIVE i want my babies to all be happy and kiss kiss fall in love hehe (my twt is @apollohyucks so if u wanna be moots...my dms are alw open hehe)
> 
> thank you so much for reading this fic which plot i threw together in one particularly boring bio class! hope you enjoyed it (◕ ω ◕✿)


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